For You, And Your Denial - Yellowcard

4am, you called to spit some fire out
But did you think that I would listen to you now?
It's nothing new so get in line with all the rest
And I will wait till you realize you're out of breath

Can you hear the crowd? They all go wild
For you and your denial
They're watching you break down(Break Down)
Hate me all you want, I'll be okay
I'm half the world away
I'm letting you go now (Go Now)

You've got sadness twisted up with jealousy
You show your fists to make them look like loyalty
And I have seen what holding on can take away
If it's the past you love then that's where you can stay

Can you hear the crowd? They all go wild
For you and your denial
They're watching you break down (break down)
Hate me all you want, I'll be okay
I'm half the world away
I'm letting you go now (go now)
Go Now (go now)

Desperation kills
But when it's on your sleeve you wear it well
Underneath it all
you'll always have this war inside yourself

I'm letting you go now (go now)
Can you hear the crowd? They all go wild
For you and your denial
They're watching you break down (break down)
Hate me all you want, I'll be okay
I'm half the world away
I'm letting you go now (go now)
Go Now (go now)
I'm letting you go Now (go now)
Go Now (go now)

So yeah....I'm bored. Nothing on TV, no video games I want to play and no ambition of really find anything to do. So I googled, "Blog idea" and a blog idea generator pops up. (You can find it here. Just refresh the page for different ideas http://words.bighugelabs.com/blog.php) So one of the ones that popped up was "Discuss a pet peeve." Hahaha with me there are many. But I suppose I'll write about the one that has bugged me a lot recently.

I suppose I am a bit O.C.D. and maybe a touch A.D.D. I have discovered that I am very single minded when it comes to work. I don't do multi-tasking well at all. I dislike being interrupted when I am doing something. Of course now that I know it, I am trying to be better about it. But I still get annoyed when told to go do something when I am already in middle of something. So yeah my pet peeve is being pulled away from one thing to do another. I can't stand it. I want to be left alone to get what I need to get done. But I don't see it changing anytime soon. I wish I was back on meds for this stuff. It really helped. Mellowed me out and I didn't get annoyed all the time.

Maybe one of these days I'll be able to but again, the only way it would happen anytime soon is if health care were suddenly free. Fat chance of that happening. Oh well. I'll just try and deal with it till a day comes when I have health insurance again.

I view other people's journals or blogs and think I can do that. Then I sit down and try to write something and nothing comes out. I guess I will just have to sit and read other people's stuff instead.

This is still here....I'm shocked. Its a bit different from when I was here last. haha. Anyways...maybe I'll check in once in a while...or maybe not...we'll see

You know....I get depressed with all the news lately. So when I saw this little story I just had to share. Something good for a change. You go ladies!


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Meeting in jail, 2 women now run popular restaurant
They pulled themselves out of addiction to become successes

* By Mary Maraghy

After her ninth DUI arrest, Arden de Saussure resolved to give up the Jim Beam.

In jail she met cocaine addict Michelle Weaver, who told her she’d turned her last trick on Philips Highway.

The two Jacksonville women pledged they would help each other fly straight on the outside.

“We were both scared to death, but we were both so determined,” said de Saussure, a former Ortega debutante.

Today — about seven years later — they own and operate the busy Arden’s Kafe & Katering, a country-style lunch spot off Roosevelt Boulevard staffed by addicts, many on jail work furloughs through the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office substance abuse treatment program.

“Arden helped me out of a mess I got myself into with the law. She understands, but she also holds you accountable,” employee Jackie Hill said recently while slicing cakes in preparation for the daily rush for Arden’s fresh and generous $8 country-style buffet.

“Arden’s a good boss and a good friend. She’s worked hard to get where she is.”

Arden’s, which feeds at least 350 people each day, is doing brisk business despite the sluggish economy. De Saussure said they saw record sales in January.

De Saussure, who has never advertised her business, said God is blessing her efforts because she’s doing the right thing and giving back to others who have had similar struggles.

She borrowed the start-up money for the cafe from her then-estranged mother, Hila de Saussure of West Jacksonville. The two hadn’t spoken in 15 years. She’s since paid back the money and restored her relationship with her mom.

Hila de Saussure, who eats lunch on Fridays at Arden’s after getting her hair done, said she’s overwhelmed that Arden’s has survived the economic downturn.

“She’s the only one in town making money. Every day it amazes me,” her mother said. “She’s completely changed herself around. I’m very proud.”

Investors have tried to persuade de Saussure to expand her restaurant, but she said she’s not interested.

“It’s not about making money. It’s about loving what you do. I get a high from seeing my restaurant full of people,” she said, adding that she also enjoys mentoring her employees.

“They are my mission field. By pouring in to them what I’ve learned, it helps me. By giving it away, I keep it. My sobriety is the most important part of my life.”

Friends from rehab, counselors and mentors are among the regular customers.

“Michelle and I used to do bad things together. Now we do good things,” said Nancy Dyal, another reformed Westsider who owns a cleaning business and brings her crew to Arden’s for lunch often. “Arden’s will always make a profit because they are doing the right thing.”

Duke Denson of Westside is among several retired firefighters who eat regularly at Arden’s because of the food.

“I’ve not found another place in town that serves fresh vegetables every day plus at least six meat dishes. And she doesn’t over-fry everything. I love the okra and tomatoes,” he said. “I do have some friends who quit coming because they eat too much.”

Born and reared in Ortega, de Saussure was an Episcopal High School graduate who always loved cooking. She attended several culinary schools but never finished.

“My booze got in the way,” she said, adding that she started drinking at age 10 — ironically, soon after her father was killed by a drunken driver.

In jail, de Saussure said she and Weaver met and realized they had much in common.

Both had been in and out of rehabilitation programs. Both felt they could sink no lower, and both wanted a new life. They shared a car and lived together in a halfway house, going to two and three 12-step meetings per day.

Weaver had given birth in prison to a girl, Janae Weaver. Because she was cocaine-positive, state officials put the baby in foster care. Weaver called her mother in Illinois, who came and took custody of Janae until Weaver reclaimed her two years later.

Today, Janae, 7, is an honor student at Fishweir Elementary School, and her awards and artwork cover the walls of the cafe, where she sometimes helps peel potatoes and make macaroni and cheese.

mary.maraghy@jacksonville.com,
(904) 359-4619

Well, I am playing WoW again, and LotRO. I'm such a geek. Anyways...if there is anyone out there playing WoW and want someone to play with let me know. I'm open for playing on whatever server. I just don't want to play alone. Soloing gets so boring.

ps: thanks Jeri, that was a fun one

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



wow....too funny